The following quotes offers a perspective that could be specific to the holidays as well.
“We must be willing to let go of the life (holiday) we planned so as to have the life (holiday) that is waiting for us.” – Joseph Campbell
If you simply show up, that’s 50% of the process…if you must have expectations,think as broadly and vaguely as possible. For instance,’ I’d like to spend time with family’ is likely to be more realistic than I’d like to spend time with a specific family member, doing a specific activity at a certain time. And if even the basic expectation is unmet, consider the downsides of spending time with family at the holidays and the upside to spending time with them during a less busy and sometimes, calmer time.